Barnabas Center
Barnabas Center

Self-Control as a Choice by Suzanne Stangland MA, LPC

Anxiety, depression and many other struggles plague numerous people on a daily basis. Various skills and techniques can be very helpful in learning to cope with these different issues; however, there is another important concept to consider as well.  Is there an additional question one needs to be asking themselves about how they can work to stay positively focused when facing negative thoughts and feelings?  Yes! It can be a question of self-control.  Most people probably tend to think of self-control in terms of saying no to that cheesecake or picking a green vegetable instead of a carbohydrate—and it can be.  On the other hand,

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Peace in Communication by Suzanne Stangland MA, LPC

As couples, friends, parents, and children, we all struggle with communication.  Whether we feel unheard and invalidated or confused about how to express what we are feeling, we can learn effective skills that can create more peace in our relationships.

Some helpful tips for effective communication include:

  • Actively listening by being attuned to what the speaker is saying. This is accomplished by maintaining eye contact, leaning into the conversation, and minimizing distractions so you can focus.
  • Use “I feel” statements instead of “you did” statements.
  • Repeat back to the speaker what you heard them say by paraphrasing their words into your own.
  • Ask the other person what they need from you in the conversation.
  • Hear them out completely before starting on your own expression.
  • Speak calmly and respectfully.
  • Try writing out your thoughts before you verbalize them so you say what you mean to say.
  • Avoid speaking in anger. If the conversation is becoming too angry, take a break before continuing the discussion.

The need to be right

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